The Same Old Agon

William Doreski

 

On my mother’s birthday, rain

as pale as her antique hide

sketches columns in the air:

 

Doric columns, plain fluting

without elaborate capitals.

Driving south to visit her

 

in the nursing home I sever

half a dozen towns by rutting

the wet highway: Winchendon,

 

Petersham, Ware, Palmer, Monson,

and Hamden. None of these places

know or love me, hills cowering

 

under a thick patina of gloom.

My mother’s ninety-fifth birthday

hardly scars the calendar, her face

 

clenched as she watches a TV

she can barely see. Greeting me

with her ordinary indifference

 

she looks stolid as the façade

of the family home I had to sell

to underwrite her terrible age.

 

The ashen rain looks in on us

through slatted blinds. The lawn

is green enough to criticize

 

the room my mother occupies

with two other women as old

as her. Driving home as the distance

 

prolongs its agony, I feel

the clearing sky pass through me

like an X-ray, dividing me

 

from my mother as it births me

out of my favorite complacencies

again, again, all over again.

 

 

 

 

William Doreski’s work has appeared in various online and print journals, and in several collections, most recently Waiting for the Angel (2009).  

 

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