Born to a Mother with no Heart
Imagine knowing
it’s missing, not pulsating, pink,
my rapacious pine for the unformed fist.
See what-is-not plague how I form
my dreams; already I meet myself first and last.
Watch the mislaid metronome stalking my self
into perhaps, robbing me of rhythm I ache for.
One nurse is frightened, one knows something—
life is carved up, in the way that what you receive
in the very first moments is often better than what you
will ever do. A mother as hearty, having heart,
would allow me close up beside her. Wants to hide
me in her purse with the lipstick. Lets me wish
for her belly to rip open, so I might climb back inside.
Imagine your heart never grows.
Your fingers could trace peonies on my face. Disturbing,
I know, this birth, me. Imperfect messy and frightening
tundra. I ask the only question there is. Could you love me?
To which you reply with silence. To which I answer
by shielding you. Watch the blip of my monitor;
watch the holograph of my heart trail off in a long white line.
Nanette Rayman Rivera was nominated for two Pushcart Prize nominations in
2006, one for poetry by Arsenic Lobster and one for non-fiction by Dragonfire.
Nanette has one poetry collection, Project: Butterflies (Foothills
Publishing, 2007) and one chapbook, alegrias (Lopside Press, 2007).
She is also the recipient of the May 2007 Glass Woman Prize for
Non-Fiction. She has also published in The Berkeley Fiction Review,
Carve Magazine, The Worcester Review, The Pebble Lake Review, MiPOesias, Sein
Und Werden, Carousel, Barnwood, Wheelhouse, Anti-Muse, Wicked Alice, The Pedestal
Magazine, Stirring including Stirring's Steamiest Six, Words and
Pictures, Mannequin Envy, Snow Monkey, Three Candles, Jack, Chantarelle's
Notebook and others. Upcoming: Aiofe's Kiss and The
Cherry Blossom Review.